A family day
Ma didn’t get up until almost 2 this afternoon. ‘Why can’t I just die?’ she asked as she lay wretched in bed. I feel I should cry but the sun is shining outside and Beloved’s family is soon to arrive. I say I am sorry. I am so sorry. Can I get her anything? I get her a coffee and biscuit and slowly she gets up. She puts on such a good front all day. She sits with us all all afternoon, watching, hearing, smiling. We are close. Every night I wonder if she will be alive in the morning. It is like a tragedy every night. It is terrible.
And Sunny didn’t turn up today. He was supposed to be here with his siblings and cousins. It was a family day. But he wasn’t here. He’s gone and it makes me sad. ‘I’m just a young buck’ he said when I saw him last… doing what young bucks do. I know. My boy has gone. One day he’ll return a grown up. But he’ll not be returning home for real ever again. He only calls when he needs money and I am too generous.