Saw G at the Boating Station this morning! Yesterday's groom. He was on the telephone. I waved hello. He was preoccupied, maybe not pleased to see me. Maybe I am too poor for him now. We scuttled off to our kayaks and paddled up the perfect river. It was beautiful, like something out of a story book. Apple was especially keen to get far away from G and J (G's son) so paddled hard. J we took away for a 10 day holiday in Madrid two years ago. We haven’t seen him since. It’s okay. I don’t want G and J in my life any more than they want me.
And Ma? She had difficulty getting up this morning. Every morning I must wake her. I dread going to her room. She is like the living dead. She says she struggles to breath and moans ‘Why can I not just go?’ I hold her hand and wait for her. Eventually she gathers herself and rises. She had not asked for my help to dress her since last week. She must have sensed my despair.
In the evenings she watches the 24 hour news channel.
We had Buddy's son for the weekend.