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Day 34

About me part 7

And so all that plus life experience after I left home had shaped me into the person I am today.

When I left home at 17 I was young, impressionable, too soft, too eager to please, emotional when it all got too much and too quiet to speak my mind.

Over the years I have become tougher, less patient although in my case this is a good thing, more likely to speak my mind and stand up for myself, less likely to put with other people's bull.

I learned very quickly to take the bull by the horns. Especially with regards to my son. I pushed for referrals and went to appointments and made sure I was doing all I could.

This is part of the reason I have limited patience with my stepdaughter.

While she had a troubled childhood, in the early years it was more about her than her son. I think she thought that everyone else would do the hard work for her but it never turned out that way.

While young mothers are still learning themselves, our kids have a sex education in this country. We are not a third world country. They need to learn

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  • Anon de Plume Anon de Plume
    49 months ago

    They do. And eventually they will, just their way at their pace. It may not be how we'd do it, but it's only by failure we learn how to succeed. And as you know I've just overcome 19 years of it! x

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  • Lydia Lydia
    49 months ago

    I just think some people are stronger than others, you know personalities
    I have learnt that some things you cannot change, some people are set in their ways, you have to learn to live with the ups and downs life in a family throws at you
    We are all different the sooner we all realise that we can move

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  • doingitonmyown doingitonmyown
    49 months ago

    I know this really anon and Lydia, I think the the thing that's probably getting to me more is when people just assume you can be there for every dilemma, know the answer to every problem etc. Do them favours every time they ask. Just an example, on Monday I picked up the birthday cake for stepdaughters sons birthday. Took it over, went home, went back over later. Tues I took her shopping, wed went for messages for my mother, she text me on Wed about take her to a meeting at the school on friday on Thurs she asked me to take her shopping again. I texted her back with a very curt reply. I have seen me run back and forward for her sometimes 4 or 5 times a week. It's not as if she is right on my doorstep so it's the travelling back and forward just to get to her. She won't ask her dad because he tells her to her face and she doesn't like it. It's pure laziness now. I didn't mind help helping her out when I knew she was struggling financially do get all these done but I gave her advice which she took. She is now in a much better position to many of these things for herself. There's many people out there busting their asses at work getting far less and having to pay their rent etc so this annoys me greatly.
    There's not a great age difference between us either as her dad is a good bit older than me so she's not a daft little girl. She is physically anyway at least a fully grown woman in her thirties now.

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  • Lydia Lydia
    49 months ago

    taking the piss comes to mind !!

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  • doingitonmyown doingitonmyown
    49 months ago

    Taking the piss is exactly what it is Lydia so when I rant on here she is usually the basis of it. She phoned me back on the Thurs to say she would get the messages herself haha x I had effectively told her that I would have been running after her 4 days in the one week. I might have a soft heart but when people take the piss for too long I can be a totally different person x

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  • Anon de Plume Anon de Plume
    49 months ago

    And that's my point. If you make yourself unavailable she will have to grow up and cope. You don't need to justify your unavailability, just tell her you're not free. After a few let downs she'll figure it out. And having a child doesn't mean you can use him to blackmail people into thinking around after you. She's using your guilt at letting him down to her own ends. But the problem rests solely in her shoulders. She has to fail in order to learn.

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  • Anon de Plume Anon de Plume
    49 months ago

    *running not thinking

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  • doingitonmyown doingitonmyown
    49 months ago

    I know anon, ah well I shall wait and see what next week brings. I've already blown my top earlier this year I can see it coming again if she's not careful. X

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