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Day 109

After my meds starting working, I emailed Mom soon after...

I told her everything. I told her how difficult it was growing up gay not being able to talk with anyone. Not being able to tell anyone. Having zero family support. No friends that knew. Living a secret double-life behind everyone's backs. And, the most toxic ignorant family to boot. I explained that I left home for the Navy TWO WEEKS after high school graduation. I couldn't get away from everyone fast enough. I explained how for years all I've done is fake my happiness. Every time someone asked how I was doing in the last 30 years, I'd always say, "Good." I've never been honest. I've never had a best friend that knew I was gay, EVER. Life was excruciatingly painful for most years. And, 5 years ago Mom told me being gay is wrong according to the bible, that I embarrass her, and both parents and brother aren't accepting at all. My brother even told me, "I don't want you around my kids unsupervised."

I explained to Mom how I wanted nothing to do with any of the family, and I won't be visiting again, but they can visit me. She replied, "I didn't know."

Show Comments (4)

  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    8 months ago

    Ignorant morons
    Hiding behind the bible and religion the most corrupt thing in life
    She is your Mother for GODS sake
    She loves you whatever she gave birth to you she carried you for 9 months she should be proud to have a wonderful child , she should be ashamed of herself and the Family....

  • SpreadZero SpreadZero
    8 months ago

    Thank you! I completely agree. I definitely have spent the last 5 years building a permanent barrier between me and my blood family. They embarrass me and have my entire life for being so uneducated, ignorant and racist. I feel like I raised myself with friendships until I joined the Navy at 17.5 years old and never returned. Plus, I love hearing the relatives explain how awful *I AM* for ignoring them all these years and never visiting.

    It's worse than Jerry Springer. My entire life...

    Advice Rating:

  • miranda_b miranda_b
    8 months ago

    Good for you! That took a tremendous amount of strength to be completely honest and stand up for yourself. You should be proud. *hugs*

    Advice Rating:

  • doingitonmyown doingitonmyown
    7 months ago

    I'm so glad you have finally been able to tell her how you really feel after all these years. Although things might not change it must be a huge weight off your shoulders. You've been lifting the veils bit by bit to reveal the truth of yourself but I think that might have been the biggest of those veils you were hiding behind Xxx

    Advice Rating:

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