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Day 107

Awful morning - just letting work swallow me today

It's Friday and mostly sunny. I should be happy. But, I haven't been "happy" in so long that I'm afraid I've forgotten how. I've stressed out my brain and nerves so much in my 40's dealing with other toxic humans that I'm no longer interested in the daily BS we call life. I no longer see the benefit to having a friend or discussing anything with anyone. The more I think about life in general, the more I don't want to be a part of it. I'm trying to immerse myself in work to avoid thinking at all.

It's not working.

Show Comments (2)

  • miranda_b miranda_b
    8 months ago

    It sounds like it’s time for a visit to your doc to adjust your meds. With the right medications and mental health care you can live a happy and productive life with bipolar, if you’re feeling this lost then something is off.

    Please don’t give up on finding happiness, and please don’t forget that depression lies.

    Advice Rating:

  • SpreadZero SpreadZero
    8 months ago

    You are right. Something's not right. I was beginning to feel happier each day. And, now I'm right back to feeling overwhelmed with sadness. I hate getting up. I want to sleep all day. I despise interacting with others now. Most people's conversations make me roll my eyes and throw-up a little. Everyone seems to have it so easy and yet still complain everything is the worst. There's nobody around me that's positive. I have nobody in my life that brings me joy. I've always been the "mental" leader in the group with friends, my significant other, whomever. Now, I'm completely a moaning complaining attendee only to events other people want to do. And, meanwhile the entire time, I'd rather be home curled up in bed.

    Advice Rating:

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