Woke at 5 and couldn’t get back to sleep. Turning over in my mind all I said to James. I didn’t regret anything.
I have felt sick and headachy all day. So anxious about Ma. James called late morning and we had the first good chat in months. Circe and Beloved joined in. At last we were talking reasonably about Ma and her needs instead of letting our anger and resentment towards each other get in the way. We talked about her staying with James and Circe and the need to move her sooner rather than later. Then we discussed alternatives: an apartment in our town, 5 minutes from us with full time carers. I could see that would work better all round. Ball back in my court firmly. Everyone happy. Actually, me too. I don’t want to loose Ma I discover. I want to look after her and make sure she’s okay.
This afternoon Beloved, Peachy and I went to have a look at an apartment. I liked it instantly. It was modern, clean and well suited to Ma’s needs. Small but cosy. She would be surrounded by people and yet not invaded by them. Could be good.