Big small stuff
It’s 3.10am and I’m aware of the glow of Beloved’s night light. I go to the loo and on the way back I tell him to go to sleep. Couldn’t he reduce the light? He’s angry and almost shouting. How dare I tell him when to go to sleep. I should just close my eyes and I won’t see the light. I put my ear plugs in so I don’t hear any more and I tell him to shut up every time I hear him speak. After about 3 minutes he turns off the light. 3 minutes after that he’s snoring. It’s cold. I snuggle up to him. A while later he wakes and moves away from me. It’s a long time before I fall asleep. I am worried. Worried that this little spark will become a fire and tomorrow I will suffer more aggression from him. I fall asleep hours later.
I wake Apple at 7.30 and go to check that he’s getting ready at 7.50. He’s dressed and lying under his duvet. 8.10 comes and goes. Peachy and I get in the car. We wait until 8.15. No Apple. It’s cold and raining. We leave.