Coming in with a bang pt 1
Hey there. Yup, i'm autistic and my mother is....doing my head in.
She is...complicated. Most people think of her as a sweet, kind old lady of nearly 70 (though she looks, dresses and acts years younger) who's lovely.
And she is. To everyone else.
To me, she's...distant. Critical. Mean sometimes. Petty. Selfish. Cruel.
If you met her, you'd love her. You wouldn't see or experience what i do.
No one ever does. She hides her faults well.
But she's the woman who, when i had a severe ear infection that i had to go to hospital for, told me to get a taxi, when i rang her at 1am, crying, asking her to come with me.
She's also the woman that tells me if she could have her life again, she likely wouldn't have me, who doesn't invite me to family dinners, telling me it's because i make everyone uncomfortable. (I don't)
Who says she's busy every time i ask to hang out with her, yet who seems to have time for my sister, my female cousin, her friends and everyone else who wants her, who makes subtle comments and remarks that chip away at my confidence and self esteem....