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Day 145

Damn Hormones

Yoga last night was perfect. Everyone in class was awkward and quiet. So, I sat in the middle and began chatting up those around me using humor and expressing my own nervousness. Soon enough we were all chatting and laughing.

Our instructor finally arrived and we dove straight into it. Almost immediately I recalled how to hold the moves from my yoga classes years ago - how to flow smoothly from one move to the next and how to maintain my balance. I obviously don't have the strength or flexibility I did back then, and I could feel muscles shake from the workout, but I impressed myself with how many moves I could remember and execute properly.

My emotions (and acne) have been haywire since I'm close to the placebo week of my birth-control. My hormones have left me in a wreckage of depression and self-loathing that Honeybun has no idea how to handle, even though I tell him to just "Hold me and tell me you love me, dammit." lol. The meditative end to the yoga class left tears streaming down my face as the instructor gave us the cliche/generalized "You are worthy, you are strong, everything will be alright" mantra.

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  • runcicle runcicle
    4 weeks ago

    It's amazing how powerful the truth can be even when its rationale is not known so that it has become a cliche (all truths have a rationale even though it is known to very few).

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  • Otter Otter
    4 weeks ago

    You make an excellent point, runcicle.

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  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    4 weeks ago

    Sounds like a great way to expand on your life. And as for your self doubts? Live with it; you never know what "work" is being accomplished during that time.... so sayeth Rilke, and the dude knew a lot....

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