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Day 202

Dear Chris,

Remembering you comes in flashbacks and echoes.
I've told myself a million times now, that I've got to let this dream go.
With you, there's no right answer any more.
My life and logic was flipped,
My doubt completely slipped since the day I met you.

But fear? It's still there.
I know because moving on from you is impossible, yet I know things will never be the same as they were back in that caravan when we would talk about stars real things while Chip tried to steal my attention from you.
So yes, I'm afraid.
Yet I still see it all in my head, I see you, I see Millie. I see your bedroom, I see us dancing to a record player. I see every goddamn photograph we ever took.

Losing you was a grief like I'd never known.
Missing you was an all-over ache, all alone.
Forgetting you was like trying to know somebody I've never met.
My ears are burning right now. My heart is thumping hard, and yet
Feels so, very weak.
This is what you do to me. This passion. This wistfulness. This wishfulness.

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