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Day 214

Dear Chris

Things are bad lately.

Life is complex. But so is my mind. It's a deadly combination of complication.

Everything is so tangled and yet indifferent. I'm so lethargic most of the time-when I'm not, I'm teary and shaky.

I would *breath*...Love, for somebody comforting andtrustworthy to hold me for a hour or two(that should do it)and tell me that things will be okay. I'm needing that comfort and intimacy lately like you would never believe. Even if I had that hour, I might be selfish and need another hour within ten minutes time of finishing the first.

I'd need it for days on end. Maybe then I would start to feel better. Right now, I feel like I'm going crazy. People are telling me things aren't as I think they are, that I'm creating drama from nothing (from my brother stealing from me), that I shouldn't be so on edge, it's for no reason, that I should trust more, that things didn't happen the way I think they did.

I'm confused. I've been using my journal as I always have for these situations. I wrote down what happened as it did. I KNOW what happened. They can't convince me otherwise. They're just casting doubt now.

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  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    8 months ago

    Believe it happened. Never doubt yourself

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