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Day 238

Dear Grandad,

One last try.

I'm giving this situation one last try.

I'm trying so hard to avoid confrontation and avoid my mother and brother, gaslighting me, making me feel so bad for reacting to them both abusing me.

I'm trying.

I'm trying to get out more. Take care of myself more. Eat more. Sleep more. Do things I love more. I don't know why this self love is still having me end up in trouble. I want to live more simply. I'm trying.

I'm giving this situation one last try.

I'm making plans for Spain. I'm even working with Sonny because he's trying so hard to work with me too. I know he's good for me. He really, really cares about me. He doesn't threaten me with other girls. He goes out with me and dances. He even tries to learn to knit! He encourages me to do the strange, quirky things most have pulled their hair out at. He's trying, too. He's trying for me.

I think it's time I try to let good things into my life and finally push out the bad. I can't carry all of this weight any longer-it's not healthy and I'm tired.

I'm giving this plan, one last try.

Show Comments (1)

  • Otter Otter
    3 months ago

    You can do this! I truly believe in you, Savannah Bear. You're so much stronger than you think you are. Never underestimate yourself!! Try to drown out any negative thoughts you say to yourself - even if you have to drown them out audibly by saying affirmations out loud: "I am strong," "I can do this," "I'm going to create the life I want, and nothing can stop me."

    I regularly tell myself: "Ok, Otter. This situation sucks, but get your ass moving and Get. It. Done. - Don't you /dare/ quit now."

    When it comes to personal challenges, I'd always been told: If you can't climb over the wall or dig under it, wink at it and then blow it to smithereens. Sheer force of will is a powerful thing - just build up your strength a little bit at a time.

    xoxo

    Advice Rating:

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