I am completely and utterly... I can't even finish that sentence...
I guess I just can't.
He's been so depressed and so utterly selfish and so blind to us he has destroyed us.
He has been going to see whores. Because he felt like he didn't deserve me, didn't deserve us. So he went out and did something utterly disgusting. To torture himself with.
And I found out.
He's going back to New Zealand for counselling. All this self loathing and disgust comes from problems nearly 10 years old.
He is going to go rebuild himself for us.
Who is going to help me rebuild me?
I've been hos councellor for the past 2 weeks. Getting us to the end date we mananged to sort out with the company. We have now finished our life on cruise ships for real. I have come back home and I'm meant to start a new life.
My old life has been shattered. I fiancee who promised himself to me, and turned out to be a cheating, lying broken man. And I didn't even see it.
I wanted this. I wanted this so bad. No wonder it went south.