Prev Next

Day 284

Defeated

I am completely and utterly... I can't even finish that sentence...

I guess I just can't.

He's been so depressed and so utterly selfish and so blind to us he has destroyed us.

He has been going to see whores. Because he felt like he didn't deserve me, didn't deserve us. So he went out and did something utterly disgusting. To torture himself with.

And I found out.

He's going back to New Zealand for counselling. All this self loathing and disgust comes from problems nearly 10 years old.

He is going to go rebuild himself for us.

Who is going to help me rebuild me?

I've been hos councellor for the past 2 weeks. Getting us to the end date we mananged to sort out with the company. We have now finished our life on cruise ships for real. I have come back home and I'm meant to start a new life.

My old life has been shattered. I fiancee who promised himself to me, and turned out to be a cheating, lying broken man. And I didn't even see it.

Stupid woman.

I wanted this. I wanted this so bad. No wonder it went south.

Show Comments (2)

  • runcicle runcicle
    36 months ago

    He's still the same person.

    Advice Rating:

  • ilostmyheart ilostmyheart
    36 months ago

    I don't really know what to say... What you're going through seems terrible. I hope you'll be okay, and this all gets sorted out soon.. (hug)

    Advice Rating:

You need to be registered or signed in to post a comment

Register

Welcome to Pencourage.

|

Dismiss Notification

Back To Top