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Day 104


I've been too swept up the last few months to actually take care of myself, and I can't afford it all anyway. Doctors appointments, a new mattress (we have a Sleep-Number air-bed that was my grandfather's - it's at least 18 years old, leaks, and kills our backs), and new tires for my car. I'm pressured by my parents to get it all done immediately. They think Honeybun and I are splitting rent/utility bills, when I'm actually paying for it all until Honeybun finds a better job.

They think I have more money than I do, and when I explain that I will do these things when I can afford them, they demand to know why I can't afford them right now. I tell them Honeybun is paying half, because they already don't approve of him, and the truth would just make it worse - though they probably suspect.

They have decided to buy tires for me, and I will be paying them back monthly. I know they worry about me and want to help, but their finances are tight too. When they buy things for me like that I feel like a child again or like I've failed somehow.

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