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Day 748


On the return journey home I filled the car up with petrol. Ma said she wanted to pay. I said we’d go halves. As I said good night to her she told me that Beloved had wanted her to pay for the petrol in full. I asked if he had said anything to her. She admitted he hadn’t but when I took her card he had said, ‘Yes, George, use the card to pay for the petrol.’ He had wanted her money. I told her that I had not heard this, that I loved Beloved, and trust him and that he has never ever asked me to take her money.

Next major incident: Owl is dangerously depressed. He broke down on the telephone this evening. I think he is profoundly lonely and drowning in the demands of his course work. It's far too difficult for him. He spoke of feeling ‘trapped’ and looking forward to leaving Physics behind him; he didn’t know if he could keep going until summer 2021. Beloved didn’t listen, kept telling him how capable he is, how he should be a journalist. Owl walked out of the room leaving his phone on the desk.

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  • Otter Otter
    4 months ago

    Aw, poor Owl. School gets really difficult some days (or weeks...or just the whole semester). I remember feeling like the walls were closing around me in my dorm. The loneliness is insanely suffocating. There were plenty of calls home, and sometimes I'd just make my parents stay on the phone with me for hours - we'd be doing our own thing and not actively talking, but it was nice feeling their presence in that way. It made me feel not so alone. It's good to keep cheering Owl on, because school can really beat down one's self-confidence. Higher education is a roller-coaster of emotion and stress, but as long as he's got a strong support system, he'll make it out with his feathers intact. :)

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