I really hate having to look after Ma. With all my heart I wish that she was not here. I don’t like the way that she smells, the way that she looks, her small fragile state. I hate it all: her dependence, all her needs, every small detail of her life: I have to look after everything for her. It’s the worst sentence I have been given in my life. And I see no end to it. How many years will she be with me, weighing me down, watching me, suffocating me? How many years must I endure her? Will no one help me? My brothers don’t even give up a day of work to be with her. Not one day. It is incredible. Teddy has a swish new car. He hasn’t thanked Ma for it. I doubt he even thinks of her as he drives about in it. But she notices it. Says it’s very plush. Bought with her money. None of my brothers feel any due to her. I find it so odd that they feel no obligation, no loyalty, no real love. I don’t understand how they can be so negligent and be content with themselves.