So many times I’ll have a session with my therapist that will be mostly chit chat, catching her up, nothing major. Then in the last 5 or 10 minutes something will come up and it will be huge and I’ll be in tears.
Today it was the realization of what emotion I’m stuck on.
The last thing I said to him before the crash haunts me. He was complaining about being tired of driving and I suggested letting one of the other guys drive so he could get some sleep. A couple hours later he was stretched out asleep in the back of the truck and the guy driving fell asleep and they rolled. I know it’s not my fault but I still feel guilty.
There is also the first time I went to the hospital. The doctors all said he would never function again, the words “persistent vegetative state” got thrown around. When I had to leave the family gave me some time alone with him and I told him what they said and that if he didn’t want to continue like that it was ok to let go.
I feel horrible guilt for giving up on him.