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Day 162

Honeybun's Step Back

Yesterday evening was a wreck. We'd gone to visit my parents, and it was a great time. However, Honeybun got a little too tipsy. He was fine when we were there and fell asleep peacefully on the drive home. Once I parked, I woke him with a kiss and offered to help him inside. When he stood up, I noticed wetness on his crotch. "Did you...piss yourself?" I should have waited until we got inside, as he got embarrassed. I reached out to help him balance, and we both collapsed to the concrete. I scraped my knee.

Inside, he got attitude. At first he tried to blame me, but I shut that down quickly. He'd been doing so well monitoring his drinking, and this was a step back. I reminded him that he gets emotional when he drinks, and we could discuss in the morning with clear heads. He called himself a loser, cried that he was holding me back, and that I deserve better. He needed some time alone, so he slept on the couch. I couldn't sleep.

This morning he apologized, but he knows we'll talk about it this evening. His health-insurance starts soon - it's time for a therapist.

Show Comments (2)

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    6 weeks ago

    Hey Otter, it sounds like you're handling the challenge well, but you should definitely investigate ways to get help. I don't know how open Honeybun is to AA, but AlAnon would probably be a good support for you as you struggle with this issue. I attended many years ago, and I found an outlet to help me when my older sister was abusing alcohol.

    Advice Rating:

  • Otter Otter
    6 weeks ago

    We've definitely considered this, and Honeybun is open to the idea of AA. I think he wants to explore his own thoughts intimately with a therapist first though to help him vocalize what he's feeling. He's always had trouble effectively communicating what's going on in his head, so he wants to get a bit better at that first before he can open comfortably to a group. I've even told him we could look for a couples' therapist if he wants me there as support while he talks things out. I've been taking up meditation to help myself cope, but I may take your advice and look into a support group so I can better help him and myself.

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