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Day 70

I just don’t want

I read a blurb in a magazine whilst getting my toes done about dating apps and it described one which utilizes one’s friends to help find you dates. They write your bio and cull the herd for you. I mentioned it to my bff today mostly joking because I needed to change the subject of her picking out shit for her wedding which just reminds me I’m going to die alone surrounded by 137 dogs.

Anyways, it got me thinking about actually dating again and the bottom line is I don’t want to. The thought of meeting men and enduring the get to know you chit chats and lousy awkward first dates is utterly repellent to me.

I met my love by accident and fell for him without realizing it. Going on a quest for that feeling just doesn’t make sense and feels like a complete betrayal of what love is supposed to be. It doesn’t matter that he gave up on me, it doesn’t matter that he’s probably balls-deep in someone else at this very moment... you can’t go looking for that feeling.

They say you find love when you aren’t looking. So why log on and look?

Show Comments (4)

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    4 months ago

    I guess it's all about how badly you want to "find" someone. I've been online dating on and off since it started showing up about 15 years ago. I met some anodyne people, but that's okay: I also dated a poet, an artist, women from Africa, Asia, South America, and Australia. I've met a lot of women I would never have met in any other way, one of whom lived 2 blocks away, another whom I actually had met 10 years before and corresponded with when she was married. There are times when I have to go "cold turkey" and give it up, but it's a friggin' big city and sometimes you have to give "luck" a big nudge in your direction. I don't mind first dates, it's the frustration of meeting someone who you think there may be suitable and not having the option of a second date to get a better idea that is frustrating.

    Advice Rating:

  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    4 months ago

    I agree with you Miranda
    Do you think it is Women do not NEED Men as much as the other way around
    If love is going to find you It Will but in the meantime do not turn to desperation. It works in a really mysterious way ....

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    4 months ago

    Bettedavis - that's bs, and I know it because I have many, many women friends who really bought this load of bs and are well past their prime and regret that they weren't more actively dating when they were had more time and energy. They've missed out on a wonderful experience because they believed that love was some kind of mystical creature that was going to "find" them. Guess what: it never did!

    Advice Rating:

  • miranda_b miranda_b
    4 months ago

    That’s part of my problem... time and energy. I’m a single working mother of two young teenagers. I have my tribe of friends I enjoy spending time with and my dance classes and performances... I have zero time or energy to slog through a life of power-dating.
    My last relationship fit perfectly...
    We had mutual friends and interests, and he was gone on tour a lot so we were not smothering or over-demanding of each-other’s time. We had a connection that was fulfilling, yet still had our own thing. It just happened... the mystical creature found us... and it was perfect. Until that damn truck flipped over.

    Advice Rating:

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