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Day 450


I've been texting with the Lady With Whom I Had a Nice Date while away on vacation in New Orleans. There was playful banter, some confession (mostly by her), and just on and off communications.

Then she texts this:

"I have a question.
Just a question.
Don’t get mad please.
Has anyone ever suggested that you may be narcissistic?"


Followed by:

"Every single thing I’ve said. And every single question I’ve answered you’ve brought back to you."

And then she throws it onto me:

"But if that question is a deal breaker please let me know."

I have no words (but I do....)

My inclination is that this relationship has dead ended right here, because now I'll be self-conscious every time we interact, and even if I start a sentence with the word "I," she'll automatically think to herself, "oh, see, I knew he was a narcissist..."

I was in a relationship like that, so my hunch is that this is going to be a re-run of that kind of thing: I've already been put into this hole, and there's no way to get out.

On the other hand, we only met once and maybe if we spend time together she'll realize she pre-judged me.

Your comments?

Should I see her again?

Hell no; she's toxic.
Perhaps: maybe she's just curious.
Go for it!

1 votes so far

  • 110 Readers       5 Comments      

Show Comments (5)

  • miranda_b miranda_b
    7 months ago

    I don’t know if she’s necessarily toxic... but this is doomed. Add on the fact that it’s long-distance, and I don’t think you should waste your energy.

    Advice Rating:

  • White Dog White Dog
    7 months ago

    I wonder why you think she is toxic? The fact that you consider she is toxic would have doomed the relationship anyway.

    Advice Rating:

  • George Smith George Smith
    7 months ago

    It's an interesting one and it entirely depends on how you feel about her. It sounds like you're offended and that's not a good start. She's being honest... does she have a point? You don't think so, I feel, in which case can you laugh it off to yourself and if not maybe it's best this friendship never gets off the ground.

    Advice Rating:

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    7 months ago

    The question really is this: why would someone who knows so little about me make this diagnosis? We went out on one date, exchanged a few texts, and she asks if I have a personality disorder? Is it really fair to hang a label on someone you're romantically interested in with so little to go on?

    Advice Rating:

  • miranda_b miranda_b
    7 months ago

    It’s not fair at all... but perhaps she’s had bad experiences in the past and is trying to avoid repeating the experience. Or perhaps she’s super judgmental and has no filter. Either way, it has tainted the relationship.

    Advice Rating:

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