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Day 1

Introducing: The Lost Otter

I'm a cliche: 20-something woman who'd been homeschooled by loving middle-class parents before graduating with a degree in English. Head full of dreams, passion for writing, and absurdly driven.

I was so full of sunshine. I had such a loving family, I just moved into a townhouse with my boyfriend of 2 &1/2 years and I work for a company that not only pays really well, but treats me with respect and kindness. I started each morning with a prayer of thanksgiving - because I knew I was fortunate, and I never took anything for granted.

But the sunshine is gone. My boyfriend's parents and mine used to be best friends - and now they are suddenly at war over something unrelated directly to us. My parents are drifting away from me - no matter how tightly I cling to them. They think I've abandoned them, because I still care about Boyfriend's family. They feel betrayed that Boyfriend is no longer comfortable around them, though he is trying. We try not to let it affect our relationship, but it's difficult. I always defend his feelings, but I fear I'm losing everything. I don't know who I am anymore. I am lost.

Show Comments (3)

  • White Dog White Dog
    4 months ago

    Hello Otter, welcome to Pencourage,

    I wonder what happened to cause this rift? Can you sit down with your parents and try to make them understand how this is pulling you apart. If they cannot see this you will have some hard decisions to make. Do you embrace your future or do you allow your parents actions to change your path. I hope you manage to resolve this. x

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  • Miss Pickles Miss Pickles
    4 months ago

    Your parents are behaving very selfishly in my opinion. It is you who decides who you should spend your life with and if they are worried that they may have in laws that they detest that is no reason to interfere with your happiness. Its a very common situation to experience and you need to be strong and true to your heart .

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  • Otter Otter
    4 months ago

    Thank you both. It's a long story, and it all happened pretty nastily. It turns out that Boyfriend's parents use a certain illegal upper. Boyfriend was unaware of it until one day his stepfather offered some to him and my own father (who was 30 years clean after having moved from his home state). They both accepted because they were drunk and later regretted it. Dad came clean to Mom, and she completely lost it. His parents and mine stopped talking, which Boyfriend and I understood, but then it got worse. My own mother got drunk and began texting two people very important to Boyfriend's mom. Her neighbor and her best friend - she told them both about the drugs. Both of them talked to his mom about it (and decided that it wouldn't affect their friendship - it's her body, and she has a terminal illness - and now even they despise my Mom), and it was basically as though my Mom poured gasoline on a fire that was beginning to simmer down. Both parties are at fault, and while I was mad at Boyfriend's parents for offering him drugs, I have since forgiven. While I don't approve of the use, they have promised to no longer mention it or use it in our presence. My own parents no longer approve of Boyfriend because of his parents and his own history of drug abuse in his teens - which is long over. He uses weed to manage anxiety, but so did my dad for years until this ordeal, but all of a sudden he is loathsome in their eyes.

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