Marriage off the rocks
Notes to self on how to improve things with Beloved:
1) Be more patient with him (Peachy)
2) Don’t be confrontational. Say less. (Ma)
3) Back him up and don’t nag him. (Apple)
These are the suggestions offered by those in brackets. And I know that Beloved would add, as number one, have more sex.
I asked Apple how I could be a better mother to him. At first he said leave him alone and don’t nag. I pointed out I’d been pretty good on both counts. He agreed. Then he said, give me at least as much priority as you give Oma. How? Instead of saying goodnight to her say good night to me. But you go to bed after me. That’s because I gave up waiting for you. Okay, if you’re ready for bed by 10 tonight I’ll read to you. I would love to do that. [He wasn’t ready and I’m sure he’ll continue to go to bed after me.]
Beloved just came in and said he didn’t mean anything he said last night about me or the children and he doesn’t know why he was so angry. A massive relief.