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Day 581

Marriage on the rocks

Once again he says he wants to leave but he finds it too difficult. He says his family doesn’t make his life happier, the reverse. On and on like a broken record. I found myself shouting down the phone, ‘Don’t say another word about it. Just do it. You’ve been saying how miserable you are ever since I can remember. Just get on with it.’ And I slammed the phone down. Can’t believe I did that. I’ve just heard it so often for so long I’ve lost patience. He’s so utterly miserable and negative. I am difficult, I know. I’ve been grumpy myself, but I never talk about leaving the ship. It’s bloody hard a lot of the time, When the boys are together and being rude and lazy it’s shitty. I agree. But he just makes it shittier but saying he’s going to leave.

We’ve just had the longest chat, for a whole hour. He tells me I’m scornful, derisive and insulting towards him. We don’t have sex and he has no relationship with the kids. He said if that’s all I’ve got to offer then he doesn’t want it. He gets nothing from me.

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