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Day 96

Mental Therapy is frightening

I have my first therapy appointment tomorrow for Bipolar/PTSD/ADHD/Depression/Anxiety. I've only been taking Bipolar meds for 14 days now. Immediately my mood improved, and I care about others less and less each day. But, a huge part of me thinks this is all going to be another long road that ends with a sign that says, "Yup, this was pointless." At least, that's what I fear. I'm frightened that it will only get worse, and the meds will eventually do nothing for me. It's crazy how much fear your mind generates over the unknown.

I'm sure I'll be fine, but imagine telling your childhood version of yourself about being in mental disorder therapy just before you turn 50 years old because of childhood trauma caused by others & military PTSD.

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