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Day 297

Mourning the loss of my bump

One of the girlies I worked on ships with fell pregnant at the same time as me, and we were due on exactly the same date. It was so exciting to have someone to talk to, even if she was all the way over in New Zealand.
We are very similar people with very similar stories. She married a photog from ships. He moved to New Zealand to be with her, and my Kiwi boy came to England to be with me. We were only roomies for the last 3 weeks of my contract and the first 3 weeks of hers but we had such a connection.
She posted the most stunning bump photos this morning. She looks absolutely drop dead gorgeous. And her pregnant body made me grieve for the loss of mine. I was sobbing my heart out beside my babies incubator.
Which - back up one second here - IS MENTAL! I have my baby here. I can see him, kiss him, look into his little eyes.
I was just so looking forward to my last 2 months of pregnancy. It shocked me how strong this grief was. I'm still trying to process it.

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