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Day 653

My Wrist List: T-minus 30 days

On December 21st, I take my last dose of bicalutimide, an anti-androgen medication which inhibits my body from producing testosterone. This has the effect of preventing prostate cells from turning cancerous.

The side effects from this, and luteinizing hormone-releasing hormone have been to cause me to urinate frequently at night, inhibit the growth of hair on my chest, cause muscle aches and loss of muscle or bone, and shrinkage of the testes and lack of semen when I ejaculate. I also get into some frequent "moods" where I feel sad.....

Today is November 21: I have exactly 29 more doses to take until I'm finished with the 6th months of treatment. It'll probably take another 2 months before my body returns to "normal," which means a reversal of all the side effects named above.

So I wrote the number 30 on my wrist, tapped 30 times on my wrist with a Sharpie, and each day I'll cross one out. I love ritual, and this form of ritual, like the ones I maintained in the hospital during radiation treatments, all give me hope.

It's like I made it to the top of a mountain, but I still have to go a long way down.

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