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Day 83

Not Allowed to Falter

I am a spunky woman. Even when I feel I'm about to break down at any second, I manage to smile, use a chipper voice, and spread sunshine on those around me. Usually even those closest to me don't know anything is wrong. For the last month I've felt drained - especially emotionally. Yet I'm still showing up to work early and staying late, still smiling, still putting in my 150%. Yet I guess that's not enough.

Today my supervisor sat-down with me. She knows I've been going through a lot. "But, I need you to be more...spunky. You sit at the front. You're the face of the company, and the face of the company needs to be bright. Everyone else has offices. I know it's unfair that they have the luxury of privacy, but you have to maintain yourself." Have I not? I never let the smile slip, I'm always peppy, I don't sulk. What else does she want from me? She says I've been looking tired. Yes, but what can I do about that when my quality-of-sleep is awful? Guess it's time for a beauty-routine to banish the under eye circles...

Society is too focused on appearances.

  • 109 Readers       3 Comments      

Show Comments (3)

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    6 weeks ago

    OMG, are they really allowed to say that and not get sued? Isn't there an HR department to which you can report your supervisor? This kind of conversation can't be legal....

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  • runcicle runcicle
    6 weeks ago

    Guess it's time time to tackle the underlying problem that you're avoiding. The energy required to maintain a mask could be better used elsewhere.

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  • Otter Otter
    6 weeks ago

    Rav: Unfortunately, we do not have an HR department, and she didn't phrase anything in a way that could be reported. I've just invested in some eye cream and have been laying on the "chipper" extra thick.

    runcircle: I completely agree. I'm hoping to work on my resume this weekend and reach out to my recruiting agent that sent me this position. Things here are just slowly turning more sour, and I have enough to worry about.

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