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Day 656

On the edge

‘F*ck of you stupid bitch! I’m gonna smash your face in if you do that again.’ They are both simmering. Have exchanged snipes at the table. Peachy did start it. I knew it was dangerous. I watch as they go into the kitchen together, on the prowl, looking for more food. Peachy is muttering, knowing he is inflammatory. She drops a yogurt on the floor by mistake. He towers above her, making sure she knows she is smaller and weaker.

I am there. ‘If you touch her, I will call the police. You are not going to speak like that in this house. If you dare to attempt any violence, I promise you I will call the police.’ I mean it. Absolutely. I am afraid of him. I don’t care if he is taken from us. In fact, I would be grateful. I don’t know how to handle him. I never have. He and Sunny are well beyond me and I long for them to be gone from our home.

‘You never would,’ he spits back over his shoulder as he skulks upstairs.

I tell Beloved and he says, ‘I have no idea what to do.’

Show Comments (3)

  • Otter Otter
    3 months ago

    I'm so sorry, George. That sounds like such an awful experience, and you shouldn't have to feel that way in your own home - especially not from your own children. Teenagers seem to be such an aggressive breed. Maybe from all the raging hormones and the internal battle of wanting to be treated like an adult but still have the perks of being a child.

    It's only been about a decade since I was a teenager, so I still remember vividly how chaotic my mind was. It seemed natural at the time, but really it was a crazy tug-of-war between wanting to be "different" and wanting to be accepted. I tried so hard to feel powerful, because teenagers really don't have much power over their own lives. The lack of power over my home life led me to trying to feel powerful in other ways, and it usually involved me being a smart-ass. My words were the only thing under my complete control, and I admit sometimes I'd used them in awful ways. I was generally a loving/caring child, but I had my terrible moments.

    I look back now, and I'm glad my mind has matured. I kept a lot of journals, so I've been able to look back and see my old thought process, and WOW it was weird. A teenager's mind works in really confusing ways, and a good portion of my thoughts and behaviors from back then make zero sense to me now.

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  • George Smith George Smith
    3 months ago

    Thank you, Otter. I know you're right. Also with his exams upon him he'll be feeling very stressed so I must make allowances. We all just have to grit our teeth and wait it out.... a few more years to go!

    Advice Rating:

  • Otter Otter
    3 months ago

    Allowances, yes, but I wouldn't let him take too much advantage. Teens want to feel empowered, but they also (even if not admitted) want and need structure. It helps to have a firm guide, because his mind is probably a whirlwind with his exams coming up.

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