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Day 631

Once again on the brink

Had another whipping from Beloved, metaphorically speaking. I deserve it. I understand him. He’s very angry. He says I make him feel ridiculous and incompetent. He’s right. I do undermine and criticise him. I understand his impatience with me and I don’t blame him. He did make the point that he blamed me. He wants to get out of this marriage now. Decided as we drove along. It feels spontaneous but it isn’t. As he says, it’s a build up of unhappiness over years. I feel stunned, shell shocked, sorry for myself and everyone. It is a catastrophe and one I have brought on myself. He wants to split everything 50 50.

He’s said this many times before. All the other times he’s recanted within 24 hours. But he might not this time. I’m never sure. It always makes me feel hollow and terrible. And although I know he is unhappy because he says so all the time it still feels as though it has come from nowhere. I have got so used to his grumbling, misery and anger. It’s part of him. Good for him to want to get rid of all that. A positive move for him.

Show Comments (3)

  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    3 months ago

    Veiled threats constantly
    My marriage feels the same
    But you know after 35 years there is nowhere else to go !!!!!

  • George Smith George Smith
    3 months ago

    Not so veiled in my case....That is the only reason Beloved stays with me. He says that all the time. As for me... maybe it is the same. I don't want to be alone. I'm sorry yours is the same, Bettedavis. We must try harder to make our men happier.... I know I must. Very difficult. I've got to stop being so bossy. I think that's the key. xxx

    Advice Rating:

  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    3 months ago

    I'm the same bossy & controlling but when they have let you be that way for so long it is difficult to let them take any kind of responsibility and that's where my gripes lie , I find him irritating and having no confidence in himself making him very needy and dependent on me
    Not good really !!!!

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