Prev Next

Day 50

Passive-Aggressive Mother

I didn't call my parents this weekend.

This morning I called my Mom. First thing she says is "So, it was a weekend to ditch your parents? We figured you went to the racing event with Honeybun's parents." She tried to make it sound like a joke, but her tone was all bite. She's upset I didn't come to visit. It's only been two weeks since I've seen them, and I call twice every weekday. She's upset I spent time with Honeybun's parents at all. She sees it as a betrayal. Whenever I talk to her, she sounds disinterested in my life that has anything to do with Honeybun - which is a lot considering he is my boyfriend and we live together.

She keeps saying she's happy I'm going on a work-vacation in June. "You'll be away from everything." It's /very/ clear that by "everything" she means Honeybun. She's happy he can't come with me.

My best friend thinks it's time I set boundaries with my parents. But can I gently inform my mother that she can either choose my happiness or lose me? I love them both with all of my heart, but Mom's constant disinterest/disappointment in Honeybun hurts...

  • 51 Readers       4 Comments      

Show Comments (4)

  • Otter Otter
    8 weeks ago

    I should mention my Dad isn't as much of an issue. He doesn't fully approve of Honeybun either - He wants Honeybun to get a better job (Honeybun wants this too but can't until this court shit is over) - but he still supports my happiness in all aspects of my life and is never passive-aggressive to get his own way.

    Advice Rating:

  • Savannah Bear Savannah Bear
    8 weeks ago

    I'm sorry to hear your mother doesn't appreciate that you can find happiness in other people besides her. She sounds spiteful and jealous and possessive. I would nip that right in the bud, dear friend. Don't let her crumple or taint any positive feelings you have with Honeybun. You could make it clear you're happy with him and you love her too, but that she needs to treat you both with some respect or she will lose you even more. Don't feel hurt. Parents are so weird sometimes. Just lay your cards on the table and do what you feel is right. Hugs and kisses xx

    Advice Rating:

  • Otter Otter
    8 weeks ago

    Thanks, Savannah. It does get hard to not let her into my head sometimes, but then as soon as I'm in Honeybun's arms again it vanishes instantly and I remember that she's just possessive. Nobody will be good enough for me in her eyes because she sees it as him stealing me away. I'm hoping with time she'll get more used to me being away and stop pulling the "I'm old, don't have much longer to live, and miss you" card when she's only 59...

    Advice Rating:

  • Savannah Bear Savannah Bear
    8 weeks ago

    Hold onto Honeybun and remember the happiness in their arms whenever your mother pulls her crap. Hold onto your happiness and don't let anybody get in your way xx

    Advice Rating:

You need to be registered or signed in to post a comment

Register

Welcome to Pencourage.

|

Dismiss Notification

Back To Top