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Day 503

Planning for my (very) old age....

In fewer than 6 months I will make it to 60, which is a major achievement, as I've outlived both of my sisters and my mother, none of whom made it past 55. Recently, I've been contemplating my very old age, and have made some decisions:

1) If I get to a point where I can't keep track of my finances, I'll put it in writing now that my children should take it over, pending the report of a competent psychiatrist.

2) If I get angry when said children do this, I'm going to make it perfectly clear that they should ignore my protests. I don't care if I scream, curse at them, threaten to call the police. Just do it; I won't be in my right mind, and just know the louder I protest, the more "right" they are. Like Ulysses screaming from the boat when passing by the Isle of Sirens, just ignore my cries.

3) Please, PLEASE give me as many drugs as you can get your hands on: heroin first thing in the morning, cannabis after dinner, and LSD on Sundays. Mushrooms on holidays. I mean, will I really have a "future" to ruin at that point?

  • 141 Readers       4 Comments      

Show Comments (4)

  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    11 months ago

    Ha ha love it...
    This is the correct Rav
    60 is the new 40 ....Enjoy

  • SpreadZero SpreadZero
    11 months ago

    I love your humor. So fun :) xo

    Advice Rating:

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    11 months ago

    Bette, 60 is 60; my knees tell me that every day. I'm 60 and feel 60, but I only act like I'm 16.

    Advice Rating:

  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    11 months ago

    Yes in the head ... Always

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