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Day 52

Real love is so rare

I was thinking about my friends and their lack of understanding for what I’m going through. They all think I should be ok by now. The crash was 8 months ago so I should be over the loss of the life I thought we’d have. He broke up with me 3 months ago so I should be over the loss of what we had left.

I get it. I know I’m better off without him now. He’s too far away, he can’t travel on his own, he has no way to support himself, his family hates me... what he is now is not what I want from a man. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to lose him though.

But they don’t get that.

I realized why when my best friend was stressing about her boyfriend. She kept taking about how if she lost him she doesn’t know where she’d go or how she’d pay her bills.

When I lost my man I didn’t know how to breathe anymore.

She doesn’t understand what it is to fully commit your life to someone, to being their partner. I didn’t just lose someone I know, I lost a part of myself.

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