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Day 69

Six months

It’s been six months since the first argument that started the crumble of my relationship. He called me after drinking and was slurring so badly he sounded like he did right when he started talking again. It was so painful to hear I started crying. My tears triggered him and he reacted as if I was his ex wife who was extremely manipulative. It got a little nasty and he hung up on me. I was simultaneously pissed at him for that and incredibly excited that he’d developed the skills to do so. He gave me the I need something easier and I was never good enough for you anyways speech just a week later. A couple months of attempting friendship followed by a continuing silence.

I can’t believe it’s been six months already. That’s so long to still be in the throes of a break up. It feels like it all happened to someone else sometimes.

My mom thinks him leaving me was a symbol of how much he loves me. She thinks he knows he’s going to be dependent on whomever he’s with forever and doesn’t want me to be burdened with him.

It’s a nice theory.

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