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Day 49

Strong enough

I sent him a little gift for valentines... nothing big, just a box of his favorite Girl Scout cookies... and it didn’t arrive on Valentine’s Day but a couple days later. I’ve received no response. No acknowledgement that he received it (thought the shipping tracking says he did) let alone a communication of thanks.

I thought sticking around and not giving up on him was being strong.

I’m realizing the strong thing to do is let go and walk away.

Show Comments (9)

  • SpreadZero SpreadZero
    4 months ago

    What would you do if a co-worker said nothing for days to them receiving a box of Girl Scout cookies from you?

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  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    4 months ago

    Yeah, Miranda, I think the only thing you're going to get back from this guy is endless disappointment, even for the small kindnesses you show. I was with someone like that for a period of time, and it drained my soul.

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  • SpreadZero SpreadZero
    4 months ago

    The next time you see him face to face, indicate that you have a date this weekend. And, say nothing else to him. If he gets upset, ask him "what relationship?"

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  • miranda_b miranda_b
    4 months ago

    Rav... it is draining, but so is the seething anger I’ve been carrying for so long. I’m trying to make peace with the new reality and forgive (him, his family, god, whom ever) so I can find some peace myself, but I don’t know how.

    Advice Rating:

  • miranda_b miranda_b
    4 months ago

    Zero... you’re behind the curve, this guy isn’t a coworker or an acquaintance...
    He’s my boyfriend (well, ex boyfriend) who almost died in a car accident last year and suffered a brain injury. He’s thousands of miles away and trying to maintain friendship has been traumatic for both of us. He’s gone dark on me for the past month.

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  • SpreadZero SpreadZero
    4 months ago

    Ouch. I'm so sorry to hear this. Leaves you in a difficult position. If he is now truly an ex-boyfriend, you can try to remain friends or move on to other things in life that make you happy.

    Best wishes xo

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  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    4 months ago

    Miranda, I know this is going to sound trite, but the seething anger is not helping you and in a way, it's going to gnaw away at your soul. Find someone, maybe a therapist, or a friend or family member, who can help you just get this out of your system. I've been there, and the seething anger is going to eat you alive....

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  • miranda_b miranda_b
    4 months ago

    Thank you Rav, I’m aware and I’ve been back in therapy since the crash. I’m working on it but intellectual understanding of what one should feel and what’s one actually feels aren’t necessarily in sync.
    Considering the rollercoaster of the past 6 months or so with him dying and then not dying and then won’t function again and then walking and talking and then telling me he loves me and then telling me he doesn’t remember me and so on... I’m doing pretty well.

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  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    4 months ago

    That sounds like like it could be draining for even the strongest soul.

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