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Day 491

Struggling Daughter.... I've been here before....Questions....

We've all been here before: when you see a person who is struggling, and you try to help, and they refuse, because they want to do things their own way, and suffer for it. You know they can do better.

So I'm visiting EldestDaughter and she's 35 and has a 3 year old daughter whom she is raising separately from the father (who is lazy, but calm.) And the 3YO is doing what all 3 year olds do, and it's driving her crazy.

3YO doesn't want to sleep in her carriage while on walk, EldestDaughter gets upset; 3YO had a big breakfast and doesn't want to eat lunch, EldestDaughter has a fit. 3YO asks for her pasta to be cut up into small pieces, EldestDaughter gets upset.

I try to talk to EldestDaughter about it, and she gets monumentally pissed off. She tells me, what do I know about her situations? Well, I did raise 2 kids, and I work with children for past 35 years, so I know something. But she won't hear it: she wants to suffer alone.

This is all familiar to me, because I went through exactly same issue with Charmante: she's in trouble, needs help, but wants none.

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  • George Smith George Smith
    5 weeks ago

    Oh dear.... poor little three year old. Keep talking to your daughter, Rav. Does sound like she needs help. Can the father help out a bit more? - take his daughter out for a day here and there and give your daughter a chance to recover a bit. Why does your daughter need to control her little girl to such an extent when it's really not such a problem all these little things? Being a parent is a big learning experience and not at all easy. Your daughter is resisting learning at them moment... learning about herself and letting go a bit. I'm still trying to learn! x

    Advice Rating:

  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    5 weeks ago

    Can you not take the 3 year old and give her a break for a day/night.?
    She sounds like she is overwhelmed with her demands at the moment as you know at this age they try to gain some Control and it's a way to deal with these situations.....

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