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Day 628

The return of J

J was in the gym for the first time in months today. I was glad to see him and went straight to him to ask how he’s getting on with the new baby. It was born in December. He told me that A has post natal depression and I sensed that things were bad at home and he was struggling.

We talked about him making time for himself and how important that was for his health and sanity. We talked about cycling…. And then he suggested that we go out together on Wednesday. We both approached it obliquely. He said he’d be in touch but he’d have to check if it was okay with A first.

Going out cycling with another woman when your wife has post natal depression… maybe not such a good idea so maybe A won’t let him. But I hope she does. I’m curious. I’m just hugely relieved I’m over the butterfly stage. I don’t turn to jelly when I see him. My heart doesn’t race a million miles when he walks in the gym. Like it used to.

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