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Day 77

Therapy is my only solution

I wake angry every morning. My first thought of every day is, "I wish I could sleep until I'm dead." The anger turns to silent crying by the time I'm in the shower, and that's on a good day. Most days I want to punch a hole in the wall seconds after waking. Some mornings I'm so depressed that I stare at the mirror in the bathroom wondering how I'm alive.

I was such a beautiful, social butterfly just years ago; loved by all. It started with a little bit of hatred here and there, and then the news media filled with hate. Soon, co-workers became toxic, and this resulted in the entire office wanting nothing to do with each other. I won't even have lunch with anyone anymore. I do not talk about anything personal anymore. I created a fake Facebook page for co-workers. I want nothing to do with the lot. People are mean, selfish and ignorant 200% of the time now.

I use to glance at strangers curiously wondering how others lived their lives. In the past, I was open-minded and loving enough to make friends with strangers easily. Now, I don't even turn my head.

Show Comments (2)

  • Otter Otter
    7 months ago

    Do you have any hobbies? Any interests that light your heart up? Sometimes when the world seems like it's too much, I'd lose myself in reading or writing. Even a craft helped, as it felt like I was creating something beautiful - a small light that helped me to clear my head and heal my heart. If you don't have any hobbies, is there something you've always wanted to do? Finding something to be excited about can be healing too - Skydiving for instance.

    Advice Rating:

  • SpreadZero SpreadZero
    7 months ago

    It's difficult to explain. I feel that I am a shallow empty robot of existence that follows all societal rules perfectly, but I'm never actually happy. It's as if I'm living a life that's not mine because I never enjoy most of the moments. Everything I do is a chore, even if it's a hobby. I dislike people more than I can explain. Most of the time, I wish to be left alone. I cannot seem to handle any stress anymore. So being away from people most of the time is helping.

    Advice Rating:

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