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Day 11

Time for him to choose

I think I’m done. I’ve stood by my man through the crash, through both of his ex wives showing up, through his ex girlfriend showing up, through his family not liking me.... I thought he was worth it.

But we had an argument last week that ended badly and he went dark on me. I knew he does that, and it’s actually a good thing since I tend to get fired up and arguments would escalate unnecessarily if we kept fighting in the moment. But yesterday was my birthday. I got a formal, impersonal happy birthday text at 8 pm in which he used my full name. Not using my name is actually a thing... he’s only done it once before and there was a discussion about it then. It was like a slap in the face.

I don’t think he’s taking his recovery seriously, I don’t think he’s doing his PT outside of session, he’s not giving it is all. He has physical, speech, and occupational therapists. But he needs a therapist. Why is mental health not part of post-trauma care? He’s lost everything and he needs to deal with that, and not take it out on me.

Show Comments (3)

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    7 months ago

    Sounds like he's got plenty of support between all the ex's and his family; you can safely dump his ass and move on. Read my post for today and you'll see there's hope....

    Advice Rating:

  • miranda_b miranda_b
    7 months ago

    I’m happy for you Rav... read my post from today and you’ll see why I give the fuck up. It took 6 years to find this one. I’m undatable.

    Advice Rating:

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    7 months ago

    Whether or not you are "undateable" (a term I use frequently when disappointed by the scene), it's important, in spite of all the hopelessness and cynicism, to stay engaged....

    As Auden wrote,

    "When it comes, will it come without warning
    Just as I'm picking my nose?
    Will it knock on my door in the morning,
    Or tread in the bus on my toes?
    Will it come like a change in the weather?
    Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
    Will it alter my life altogether?
    O tell me the truth about love. "

    Advice Rating:

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