Tired of the sadness
Things have been good lately, I performed yesterday and the show went great, it was a private party and the guest of honor actually teared up he was so happy. Great times with my friends, both kids are out of school for the summer after getting straight As, heading on a tropical vacation soon.... I should be happy.
But I go to the movies and see a preview for a Disney movie and it makes me cry. He was my standing date for all things Disney ... I lay in my hammock and it made me cry. I had posted a pic of me and the kids in it and speculated on how many I could fit in before it broke and he commented “you need one more” ... even dancing yesterday, it’s one of my favorite things to do and whenever I dance now I dance for him.
Every aspect of my life now is connected to a memory of him in some way, it brings back the plans we had made or recons back to a moment in our discovery of each other.
It just makes me so sad over what we lost. When will that go away?