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Day 74

To Be It All

I tend to want too much from myself performance-wise - so much that I begin to look down on myself when I don't accomplish all of my goals. Right now I'm the breadwinner, an admin assistant (with it's own limitless sub-titles), the house chef, the grocery shopper, the maid, the planner and keeper-of-the-schedules. Honeybun tries to help, but I can be so greedy with chores until I wear myself out. And yet, I really want to add more to that list. I'd love to be a wife, a mother, a traveler, and a writer. Every now and again I toy with the idea of being a technical writer for NASA. I want to be kinder, calmer, smarter, more generous - I want to grow to be a better person.

I don't need a big house or expensive things - I just want to "Be" more, I guess. Just my ego flaring up. Haha!

Sometimes I wonder if I want to be too much...

Show Comments (2)

  • Befalus Befalus
    9 months ago

    Aaaahh I feel this post! You articulate the feeling perfectly. The desire to be/do more, and yet the exhaustion of already being so much.
    The planner-and-keeper-of-schedules is a mighty title. I'm sure you bear it well lol xx

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  • Otter Otter
    9 months ago

    Thnaks, Befalus. I really hope so. It seems like I've mastered handling everyone else's schedules (at work and at home), but it leaves very little energy to handle my own. I keep putting off things I should be scheduling for myself - such as getting new tires on my car or even getting a haircut. Haha!

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