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Day 197

Today I wrote

A suicide note to my wife and son.

I typed it whilst sitting at my desk work, my intention was to type the letters, just get up from my desand drive home to get my insulin pens, then drive to a secluded spot in woods and inject an overdose and die.

I felt so tormented by the thoughts in my head.

It all started by a text from my bank to say that we have gone over our overdraft (again) so money for the rest of the week. That on top of all the stuff that had been happening just totally floored me.

I acractua felt a little pressure lift when writing the letters.

I came home and told my wife what I had done and how low I felt.

I am making a doctor's appt tomorrow to hopefully get some help.

Show Comments (3)

  • White Dog White Dog
    3 months ago

    I understand why you wrote the note and I am glad you shared this with your wife. I hope your GP understands and you get some help. There is always help out there and asking for it is a positive thing and a way forward. x

    Advice Rating:

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    3 months ago

    Agreed - yes, right now things are bumpy, but as someone who has lived through some bad times, I know that hanging in there for the long term is the way to go - persistence is the key to living.

    Advice Rating:

  • Thanks for the love and comments, I spoke to a psychiatrist at length, never hid anything, she advised me to see a psychologist as she is putting the way I feel down to PTSD after the attack I suffered years ago. It can take up to 6 months to see an NHS psychologist which is not ideal but I really appreciate the work the NHS do

    Advice Rating:

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