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Day 188

We had a deal

Last night me and wife were having a couple drinks watching tv, we were talking about how good it would be to miss work today, she said she was calling in a day off, I couldn't as I cant afford to take a day off, it would take a big chunk out of my weekly wages.

She then begged me to head into work late so I could take youngest to school and she could get a lie in. I normally start work at 8.30am and he starts school at 9am, so i'd be an hour late.

She really wanted me to do it, she even offered my a blo job, last night and promised we'd have sex.

I went up to bed around 11.30pm, she was 5 minutes behind.

She lay in bed on her phone on facebook, I rolled over and tried to initiate sex, she jumped away and I said put the phone down and she said no.

I just rolled over and was in a mind to tell her I wasn't going to take son to school. But didn't want the argument.

Feel so used and not heard a word from her.

I'm a doormat.

Show Comments (8)

  • runcicle runcicle
    33 months ago

    Whenever sex becomes part of a bargain you open yourself to being used. Again, and again, and again.

    Advice Rating:

  • Anonymous Anonymous
    33 months ago

    a quick observation - do you always negotiate things with sex as i guess for a woman it can be pretty tiring to hear "whats in it for me" - maybe sacrificing a days pay then you 2 can spend the day together make some plans, go for nice pub lunch. if you left the motives behind you may get more???

  • George Smith George Smith
    33 months ago

    just_me - Escape didn't introduce sex into the negotiation - his wife did. He didn't say 'what's in it for me'. She offered. And then she didn't follow through.

    Advice Rating:

  • George Smith George Smith
    33 months ago

    ... and Escape, a quick plea on behalf of your wife: please don't feel like a doormat. You could feel like an angel. What you did was good and kind - you let your wife sleep in on her day off when she was really tired. It's really hard to have sex when you don't feel like it. True, she shouldn't have offered.... but maybe cut her a bit of slack? Hope all is better now. x

    Advice Rating:

  • Escape from my head Escape from my head
    33 months ago

    We don't ever use sex as a negotiation, that's why I was surprised and delighted. She's asked me to do it previously (and not used sex as a tool) I just done it even though it makes me late for work and I get my wages docked and my boss doesn't take too kind to lateness. I was looking forward to having some loving under the covers, I want us to mutually enjoy sex, I love to make her orgasm. I knew she was very manipulating and I am easily manipulated, I am quite naïve. Shes good at using people, taking advantage of their good nature, even her own mum said it, to a point I don't mind, I enjoy making people happy, I'll do favours and not expect anything in return. But I might just say to my wife that we need to just both agree that we're in a sexless marriage and that it'll suit us both as she doesn't need to worry about putting out and I wont get my hopes up and then be disappointed.

    Advice Rating:

  • George Smith George Smith
    33 months ago

    Manipulation and sex are two different things. Don't give up on the sex. And is sounds like she really does enjoy it too, like you, but she shouldn't use it. And next time she tries to use it as a bargaining tool you'll know better. You should tell her how you feel. x

    Advice Rating:

  • Escape from my head Escape from my head
    33 months ago

    She's feeling down and sorry for herself, me telling her how I feel will only make her feel worse. I know it'll blow over as it always does, I just need stop setting myself up for a fall, she likes to play games on her phone or read social media than have sex with me, I just need to accept it and download a dirty video app on my phone.

    Advice Rating:

  • SpreadZero SpreadZero
    33 months ago

    Learn how to say 'NO'. The sex negotiation could have been avoided.

    On the flipside, you may want to try understanding why saying 'NO' sometimes turns women on. Ask yourself why you felt the need to not say 'NO'.

    Advice Rating:

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