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Day 515

YOU are the reason online dating "sucks"

One of the recurrent themes I read about is how online dating sucks. What's even funnier is that the advertisements for online dating sites acknowledge this, and describe all sorts of ways to assure us that this particular site is different. They've all got brilliant plans to counteract the fact that online dating sucks.

But there's really nothing they can do about it. No policy, no algorithm, no paywall, there's no way they can make it suck any less than it does already, or even make it better.

The problem is this: it's the people who make online dating sucks, yes, the people. I make it suck, you make it suck, everybody makes it suck. Because people basically suck.

Here's why we make it suck: we go on but we're really not interested in meeting anyone. We're just there to "see who's out there," and validate our feelings of loneliness and inability to experience intimacy. We say we want it, but we don't want to make the sacrifices it entails, unless it is with exactly the right person.

But all sorts of things distract us: other profiles, our hobbies, our pets, our friends. But when we're lonely, we go back to the trough....

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