Day 23. Silence.
One of our mutual friends posted an old pic last night and thanked him for the random call... he called her. The longer this goes on the worse I feel about myself.
I’m having a hard time reconciling the change. How can someone go from professing their love, singing love songs on your voicemail, telling you how special and important you are to them, to nothing? How can I be so great and so forgettable at the same time? Was it all bullshit? Or is he torn up inside right now too?
I’m torturing myself again, looking at old photos, rereading choice bits from our conversation, reminiscing. I can’t quite listen to his music again... whenever he comes up on my shuffle I find myself yelling “fork you” at my stereo and skipping the song. But I haven’t taken his albums off my phone.
It’s so hard to let go and move on when there’s been no closure. There’s still so much I don’t understand, so much I still want to know.
I want that guy I got to know last year back. I don’t know if he was real, but he was wonderful.