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Day 619

All alone... almost

Beloved said doesn’t like Ma and how unhappy he is she is living here. They never got on. Peachy and Apple say the same thing. James says Circe doesn’t like her. He remembers bitterly how Ma called Circe a slut the first time she came to stay and shared James’ bed. Different times. We know Elizabeth doesn’t like Ma, or any of us. And Teddy and James don’t really care although they do feel distantly sorry for her. She only has me. I am deeply sorry for this tiny woman who has played her cards so badly as to end up with not a friend in the world apart from her daughter. Mind you, she doesn’t want any friends. Any old friend who tries to contact her she turns away.

Two nights ago she thought she was having a stroke.She said it was scary. She is very wobbly, her speech is a bit worse. But she manages. And thank goodness she doesn’t smell so terribly these days. She must be making a special effort to keep clean.

I feel tenderly towards my poor mother. It hurts to hear how people don’t like her. But I have felt that too.

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