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Day 236

Dear Grandad,

Did you ever wonder if somebody would hurt you on purpose? Actively choose to do something to you that would ruin a part of your life, destroy relationships, mess up your reputation? I didn't know much about your friends, but I know about you and nana. You never had to worry-not even for a single moment-that nana would do anything to hurt you, ever.

Even when you guys were on the verge of divorce for 5 years, nana told me you 2 were still friendly, working together and a family. You put each other and your kids first. No spiteful or negative emotions or thoughts ever stimulated you or nana to be nasty to each other. You gave each other space and grew, updating the other as you did.

Sometimes, maybe people do need to grow on their own, even when they're involved with somebody else. I understand that. I know that with my past and history, I don't feel safe being vulnerable with most people. Not lovers, not friends, and not even a few members of my family.

I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm skeptical, always. Because if somebody meant to protect you actively hurts you, how do you trust anyone else?

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