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Day 645

Ain't Misbehavin': a day where I have nowhere to be....

This is the first day in memory where I don't have to be anywhere. Since September, every weekday has started with radiation therapy, waking at 6:15 to be at the lab at 7:15, and "on the table" by 8.....

Saturdays are Torah study at 9, prayers at 10:30 (yes, atheists do pray...); Sundays it is catching up with people who need to be seen and doing chores that need to be done.

But today, Monday, is my first actual "day off" in a long time. A day without radiation, doctor appointments, acupuncture, lab test, school, tutoring, consulting, pick ups, drop offs, deliveries, whatever occupies our time.

It's tempting to "make a plan", arrange for a drink with a friend, check out a museum, set up an appointment, pay a bill or send out an invoice.

Today I will resist. Today is my day.

Today I'll drink coffee with heavy cream. Today I'll finish "Never a Dull Moment." Today I'll learn to play "St. James Infirmary" on the guitar; today I'll cook Thai shrimp curry, today I'll experiment with my new router, today I'll masturbate, today I'll walk my favorite route in Prospect Park. Today I'll treat myself to lunch.

Today I will abide.

Hide Comments (3)

  • runcicle runcicle
    4 months ago

    Since you believe that there is no God why do you study the Torah and who is the respondent to your prayers?

    Advice Rating:

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    4 months ago

    I study Torah because It is an ancient book that forms the foundational narrative of contemporary society. I don't pray because I expect a "reward," the reward is how praying with others builds community and love, and can be used to express gratitude, hope and redemption.

    Advice Rating:

  • runcicle runcicle
    4 months ago

    Hope can be accomplished without a second party, but gratitude implies a giver of the cause of that gratitude. Who might that be?

    The building of community is based upon a false premise unless they understand that you're not doing the same thing as each other. But, on the other hand, all praying in public is about being seen to pray rather than actually praying so I suppose that you are all doing the same thing.

    Redemption implies that one is the subject of a bond and that there is an owner of the bond. Who might that be?

    Is there anywhere in the Torah that can be identified as the beginning of the expectation of someone to save Israel?

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