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Day 662

17 days I begin the journey back to wholeness....

As I wandered through the stages of diagnosis and treatment, I knew that this would put me through a lot, and there were many things that got me through it: of course, the friends and colleagues whom I told about this, and who checked in with me, and even listened to me.

There were my rituals: making sure I got to the gym, going to synagogue each week, seeing my therapist, going to work. And then there were the others I developed to keep my eyes on where I was headed.

According to my "wrist list," I have 17 more doses before I can head home. I'm 92% of the way into my treatment; 17 pills and then I can start the journey back. I'm so far away from being "whole" again, and the journey back will take 2 - 3 months, and even then, I don't know if I'll ever be there.

But I'm hopeful. I'm praying my bones and muscles will become strong, that I can work off the extra pounds, that my libido will spring into action, that I'll sleep a solid 8, that I won't be sparring with my bladder.

The long road back is 17 days away.

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