Falling for a best friend is weird.
When does the realisation happen that you've gone from being best friends to lovers? Is it the moment the feelings develop? Is it the moment that you first decide to take that step, or is there no moment at all and it's just a gradual progression from one to the other?
Perhaps a complete merging of both?
Maybe we just always knew, too afraid to admit it? Maybe these feelings I have were always brewing under the surface, waiting to show theirselves?
The sudden overwhelming realisation that I am in love with him hit me hard. One of the problems with emotional disorders is that too often things can overwhelm me and I won't realise until it's too late.
It also makes it easy for me to switch off, however and all remnants of emotion can disappear the moment I decide to not take a relationship further.
It's helped me come to terms with ending my engagement a lot quicker and easier than others would assume - I suppose that's a blessing in disguise?