Been feeling ok for couple weeks, but this morning not
I thought the bipolar meds were progressing and solving my issues. But, this morning I was right back to hating life again. My meds haven't changed at all. Nothing happened last night that would change anything. I just woke up through with everything, as I was before taking any meds. I'm thinking all of this effort is a futile. I'm just going to have to deal with a mental disorder until I die.
The worst part is trying to explain to anyone how depression is NOT sadness. I can't just "chin up" and life becomes better. The anxiety is such that I can never relax. I'm always worrying about absolutely everything for no reason. I'm always trying harder and faster only to result in feeling lower than before any of my efforts. I'm extremely sensitive (like a crybaby even) at most of what others say. It seems that everyone in the US is more insensitive than ever. I wish I had a machine gun during work commutes to kill every last unkind person in a vehicle.
Nobody gives a crud about anyone anymore. But, WOW, I should shut the hell up and just "CHEER UP"...